the letters file...
Empathize as all of those family knots and the pressures they exude to stay intact must be hard to witness and endure.
But given that you know inside what is what amongst all the players, simply being present in the household and living as a spiritual example is enough to 'melt without melting'. Kindness -- the genuine kindness that springs from the wide-open heart -- is the best flame for such purposes. That -- and turning always within to the Inner Authority to guide the way, sound each word, move each muscle.
When in the midst of the family-aeon swamp, all we can do is seek the highest vision into the knotted situation(s), and let the leadership of the Dao untie the knots or melt the ice as it can and will, as is appropriate for each soul. Eventually, even-ness appears, transforming each cherished family member to what they really are-- just another of the 6 billion+ souls on this planet, at this time. They are, each and every one, demystified, so to say. Yet, we must also respect the karmic interplay that must happen in the 'he said, she said' world of personalization. Everyone is like a cookie, baking in the oven. Or a peach, ripening on a tree. Until they are fully baked or ripened, not much can transpire other than to witness their growth. So, as we go along in family cesspools, we must keep asking how to best serve each ripening soul. Sometimes that means moving closer to them or stepping far, far away, depending upon the season.
When the heart radiates THAT Truth-Light -- the only thing that truly melts frozen icebergs -- it can only do so in small droplets, tiny trickles -- like feeding baby birds. Too much and a soul can be burned. Too little and the soul thirsts for more. So it is a narrow tight-rope to transmit safely without actually incurring new karma as we go along. Sometimes we must withdraw abruptly. Or suddenly move much closer. This is the life-dance -- the movement between light and shadow or supple and frozen, which is like making love, caressing each other. The True Love, behind-the-scenes, never wavers and carefully orchestrates each kiss, each tender touch -- ever leading the lost fragments of Itself back into the arms of the Maestro. So, if by our example, we demonstrate to those forgetful and bewildered dancers what it means to rest in Master's arms, allowing The Maestro to lead, they eventually see and so Remember how easily the flow and rhythm of His Song lifts our feet off the ground.
In Christian-speak, it is said that not even a stone will bruise our feet. There is such Joy in what is coming to this world, when everyone who can hear the Master's cue, will dance in tune with Him again. But until the very moment His Orchestra begins to play, there is still a need for dance teachers to help those who've forgotten that they already wear magical shoes, who've forgotten how light and worshipful such a dance can be. Even elderly wounded-heart aunties and uncles can dance again, if they just Remember to honor the Dao, above all else.
So often diving into a genuine spiritual opportunity begins as 'stop and start' with many spurts and stutters. Like a heart trying to pump an intermittent flow. When the stream is thin and weak, it stutters and coughs, then comes to a halt until more water comes along. Sometimes we are that windmilling gatekeeper, who must churn or stir whatever water appears to initiate momentum, then witness the progress of the stream, and then rest when the pump goes silent, again. But the funny thing is the pump always perks right back up when another stream approaches. It may be still and silent for some period of time. But it never dies. It waits.