from the letters file...
Comment on Yogananda's Scripture of Love

Re-reading lucid, sane, and inspiring materials is like taking a bath. Even tho' the tormentors swarm with thoughts and stir up sentimental emotions, those who came before left a helpful legacy. Sometimes, I just want to immerse myself in such veracities and never leave their presence.

Whenever feeling drawn back into the possessive, clinging embrace of personal love affairs -- a contemplative re-read of Yogananda's Scripture of Love is a timely reminder about the difference between human love and Divine Romance.

Speaking personally, what is the most difficult to endure, when a ghost of unfulfilled want raises its head, is feeling, once again, all the stirred up passions that come when there is a longing to jump inside another, to merge on as many levels and layers as is possible. Such feelings can be a paralyzing shock- like a startled deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. Sometimes, it can take many weeks or months of feeling the ghosts' unfilled dreams and hopes and their agony of comings and goings before they have diminished sufficiently to dive into the sweet respite of Yogananda's mindful words.

When our hearts are beating so madly, our pulse is rushing like a wild stream, breath is caught in our throats, and the glowing smile of feeling love once again broadcasts like a shining star -- telling one and all that we are truly smitten by the beloved, it takes some determination to peer through all the layers and not be deceived by appearances.

When the the delta-area strings are plucked and begin to hum, activating sexual feelings, it is easy to project that activity onto a specific love object, a particular someone who (in our perception) is labeled as both the cause and effect. Even if we love evenly, across the board, but have grasped onto a someone as a special friend or having a special godlike place in our lives, we can feel sandwiched between two love-objects. Like a broken line between two will-endowed solid lines. And then, the worldly ways of human love will whisper we must choose between these two yang lines or the two yin lines. That, which would keep us off balance, will tell us that it is not possible to stand between both, loving both equally. And if we bite into that dangling carrot of making a choice, a division in a naturally-forming trigram will occur. What was whole and unified and functioning together becomes divided.

The line sandwiched in the middle can become torn, scarred, and mangled in the up 'n down or side-to-side, back 'n forth pendulum swing of accepting and rejecting the top line and/or the bottom line. Such a pumping is sure to be exhausting. And when played out in human lives, oftimes means that the flanking lines are both rejected -- male rejects female altogether. Or female withdraws from male. Stagnating stalemates are formed on both sides. And because of increased uncomfortability, especially if added to by emotional or mental torment, the schism formed by the double rejection, above and below, will reflect in troubles and tangles to be rectified at some future time in both the above and in the below. If one line is rejected and another accepted, then either heaven or earth will be fed and completion or harmony is disturbed. While a lesser condition is created, it still must be reconciled.

The succor to all who suffer from the passions of choosing whether to stay or go, engage or not engage, be celibate or chaste, is to
to surrender every mote of dust to God -- the personal and the impersonal -- and wait to feel prompted. Let God reconcile what only He can because we can't. We can only be true to what is in our hearts. And if God's shining light leads us to love, that is where we must go.

So often we withdraw to the cave, away from the physical presence of a lover. And that is a tempting place to hang-out -- withdrawn and away from the very challenges that have arisen in order for us to demonstrate, test, and rise above the siren's call of grasping the idea that only one person, only one Adam or Eve can reach into us so deeply as to call forth an outpouring of love such as we've never experienced, given, or thought was even possible. But that Love, once S/He rises up in us and washes away the human habits and traditions, tells us -- just as Yogananda does -- that Love that trusts Its' innate intelligence to go where it is needed to reconcile all things, to quicken what can be quickened, cure what can be cured-- is the best of love.

It is rare to meet those who vibrationally evoke the parts of Love that are hiding in caves. Some come along who are champions of love -- preaching, serving, giving. Exemplars unless one of them also carries the necessary Adam-Eve key that automatically re-creates the original trigram. When such a thing occurs, inevitably the sandwiched feeling will be re-lived. And we may experience this as pressures to make a choice between husband and lover, child or student, family or business, work or pleasure, heaven or earth. All of these are actually the activity of 3 lines or factors, not 2 -- whether visible and present in daily life or a combination of visible and invisible.

People --- wives, husbands, lovers, children, friends, students -- come and go in life, like water flowing under the bridge. We cannot
hold onto any of them as eventually, they will pour through greedy, close-fisted fingers and find their way back into the stream to swim away. The sacrifice of human love Yogananda encourages us to make is not easy. But we cannot hold the water of true Love in our hands and drink it for ourselves. Love must be poured into the flowing stream of others.

It may be easier for those who have no lover or wife or husband, constantly trying to impress another to love them only, to come back, or crying because we can't meet their cherished ideals or fulfill their personal dreams. But that is only until such time as the karmic layers are peeled away sufficiently to reveal the schism that formed between Adam-Eve and God and still exists within humanity, today. The reparation of this original trigram pattern will surely arise in every soul as all human soul carries the schismatic substance or seed-karma within it. In all cases, appearance is a matter of right conditions and right timing.

When this seed-karma surfaces in our lives, all our preferences and social-cultural political correctness will rise up to prevent us from completing the task. Every self-investment still clinging onto worldly ways and divisive structures will be challenged and exposed. We will be tempted to treat the situation as a cultural one, or ancestral -biological. The appearance of the Adam-Eve key signifies far more than repairing a schism or clearing up karma for any one biological family or country or racial division. And so the wise approach such a situation by not addressing the personal side, rather addressing the impersonal, spiritual side. Yet, all the while, the wise are also aware they will re-experience social-cultural emotions and thoughts coming from the collective pool. The natural vulnerability of being helpless to do anything other than Love and let it be, trusting God to do the work and dissolve humanity's karma, is to remove our "selves" from the equation altogether. Only God can return the original Adam-Eve-Divine trigram to its original harmony. He does so by not rejecting or accepting, not coming or going.

All love affairs carry this potential as seed-karma and a passion play to be lived through at some point in the life of soul. Yet we must remember that if we objectify Love latching onto a particular personality-face as the beloved instead of Love merely loving Love, evenly and equally; if we try to possess, claim, or own love for our very own selves or as even coming to or from any self at all, then Love's light-beaming facial heart will be hidden in shadow, eclipsed by the reflecting mirror-moon of our personalized passions.

And THAT which ever and always shines through the naturally transparent, schism-free Adam-Eve-Divine trigram must wait for another day to make true on its promise to reveal Itself as the Light Unto the World. Eden waits for all. But sadly, grasping thoughts and clinging emotions arising from and through every fallen Adam and fallen Eve are thieves and robbers to the natural quickening that comes from standing near-to God's Love.