Separation Anxiety

After the birthing process completes, conception anxiety turns into separation anxiety which in turn is opposite to anxieties such as invitation anxiety, welcome anxiety, greeting anxiety, union anxiety, togetherness anxiety, marriage anxiety, oneness anxiety.

We don’t like to be together so long, to connect so much, to relate so well, to party so amazingly cool!!!

To connect and be a part of someone, there must be a giving up, a sacrifice, a humble state, a vulnerable scale. To be a part of me, that part of Me must be as open, real and complete as the same part in You.

In order to be apart from something, such as a team, an origination, you must be ready and willing in both ways, such as being open and vulnerable, knowingly how to reserve and preserve, serve ans reserve, must be adaptable in adjustable and adjudicative process and still available afterward.

Equally we don’t like to be separated so often, and being segregated forever! We love to be part of someone, a part of all, a part of whole. We want to be seen, stay connected,  being invited and acknowledged all the time. We hate rejection and abandonment, aside from this very separation!

To be separated, a part of us will be cut off, divided, distanced, removed, and become void.  It is as if we have to let go part of us, as if we bit farewell, as if we will never see each other again, as if we will lose one another forever!

Has the heaven landed on earth? Does the noon see the midnight? Will good be kind to bad? Is right opposite from wrong? Can masculinity be separative from that of femininity? Is the left eye viewing the world separately from its right partner?  Does an object care about your right mind’s view being separatedly from your left mind’s review?

But to separate, we have to the ball, as if we are in control! We have the power and tool to cut, divide, alienate and segregate. We enjoy separating one person from the team, dividing their attention by cutting their supplies off their belongings.

Lean on or cling to! Len on over extend forth!  Anxious tactics away from anxiety attacks!

Honestly, togetherness as solid, comfortable, essential, intimate and long-term oneness, such as season-round and life-long contract, agreement, membership, marriage, origination, union and party, is not easy. Why?

How long did we wait for the right parents to excite, attract, merge, engage and marry together as one couple, one team and one union for our very conception to take place? How long had they divinely been together as one and complete, united and intimate union, prior the moment of our physical conception?  How long did it take for that very single sperm and egg to join together as one zygote? How long did this one minute cellular ball of zygote sustain itself before its split-second division took place? How long did the umbilical cord link fetus to placenta? Is a breath longer than a life?

Further, how long has light been together with love, time been one with space,  universe been spacious with cosmos, a day been united with night? …?

The truth is: once we breathe on our own, our body separates itself and forever from our womb, and entire gestation period is over.

The dialogue below is to me the root cause of separation anxiety, though unbeknownst to us at the moment.

“Why did you cut me off from my womb?” our soul might scream! 

“I had to separate your body from your placenta so you can breathe on your own!” answered by midwife. 


Since then, “Are we free, independent, and sovereign!?”  Are we free from mom and her maker of our body? Are we free from light and air, milk and water, food and safety? Are we free family and society? Are we free from duality such as coming and going, greeting and departing, welcome and goodbye, union and dissolution, and connection and separation.  Are we divided, separated, rejected, disconnected and abandoned?  Or are we connected, related, secured, independent and sovereign?

Professional term Separation Anxiety works together with its opposition, which is Reactive Attachment Disorder R. A. D..  Honestly to me, it is sick to see the word “separation” here. Why?  You have the power to cut, divide and separate from one part from another, one of the pair from the other; but you are scared and extremely vulnerable to totally open yourself up and stay in that virtuously vulnerable volunteering position.

It is easy to blamelessly use the word separation because we didn’t separate our body from our womb; we didn’t separate our thought from our feeling, our action from our reaction, our reason from our excuse, our belief from our doubt.  Somebody did it, the higher power did it, Nature did, God did it!

To separate a whole thing apart, distance in between afterward means anything, and resistance from which means all. We resist on being connected and separated at same time, being together and apart from one another at the same state, being don’t feel any and distant at same manner, being sweet and cold at same emotional nature, being kind and cruel at same mindset.

It is the two ends of the sameness that separate; it is the dual manners that separate the same matter; it is the two different eyes that cut the same scenery into two different views.

Equally, if there is nothing to cut, there can be nothing to separate; if there is nothing to be divided, separation never take place!

If you experience a Separation Anxiety, what is the opposite anxiety that causes you to experience your separation anxiety?  If you have a Separation Anxiety attack, what is your attachment that attracts this attack? If you want to understand and be free from the history of your Separation Anxiety, what can else the specific kind of anxiety you use in order to cut and divide your separation anxiety, so you would never have it no more, be totally free?

Tell me, teach me! Remind me, acknowledge me!

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