Initiating into the Tao
Event after event, and interaction after interaction, we slowly materialize our five senses by seeing, hearing, smelling, touching and tasting. By engaging this world, physical and material on one end, and conscious and energetic on the other, we set in motions of projecting and receiving, colliding and responding, mirroring and reflecting, thinking and dreaming, all at same time. All these influences force and reinforce, shape and reshape, mode and remodel, chisel and refine, back and forth, on and on. This inertia carries us so far and beyond, till it reaches to a point, an extreme end, out of gasoline, we are sucked in, crushed, decimated, and stymied.
At this point, time becomes irrelevant, whether it be couple days old or years afterward, the inertia stops, by its own nature and virtue. We are in the abyss, at the depth of crisis. Seasons of life stops, barren or fertile, accomplished or not. The dual role of inertia, motion and stillness, collapses. Dream is controlled by the inescapable reality, hope becomes gravestone.
Parental comfort and social security are no longer working. They give us everything they could and possible, the best and worst. This is all they have, personally and collectively. This is all they know, individually and historically.
Holy hunger begins, in the midst of addiction and fixation, disappointment and despair, saturation and empty hole. The inertial inertia set in, such as craving for food, hunger for love, thirst for understanding, need for recognition, desire for comfort, search for affiliation, and satisfy in relatedness, moves back and forth between memory and fantasy, glorified history and insatiable satisfaction, established wealth and unrealized fulfillment.
What has done is done, over, changed, replaced, being taken away, outgrown, discarded, and outlived. Empty and insecure, naked and vulnerable, back to baby; hometown is like motherland, last name sounds the same as the native tongue, hopeless is all common, and helplessness is universal. Back to cosmic identity, first time ever.
The world is still empty, unknown. Self is back to the true wildness state, unmind, undiscovered, unnamed. The unfinished seed is still alive, and unpolished deed needs to be refined. Something else must be done, further engaged, deeply understood, more subtly perceived, more virtuously presented.
True initiation begins, teaching is everywhere, mentors are all self-mirroring, helper is handy, and tools are still reliable. Schooling is life journey; outside establishment, whether be an institution or the status quo, no longer serves the previously satisfied need, as they can no longer serve.
The early pilgrimage is over, and what has been gathered needs to be sifted. Time is a matter of recognition in the full acceptance, being in the presence. Space is not established upon the weight of body and expanse of mind, but in the openness to the true emptiness and embracement of all extremities.
Redefine the Crisis
Any crisis in life has its own divine purpose, with no accident, mistake, or punishment. As God grants us the real gift, His Seed, it must invoke the revolutionary history, as all revolutions are, and revoke the evolutionary path, as it has been. All refresh start is back to its refreshed end, and all virtuous paths are in the middle of nowhere.
In the beginning, when we are in the crisis state, being traumatized, we accuse others but not us, blame God but not ourselves. We see it as a curse, misfortune, tragedy, loss. We experience as being captured, imprisoned, tortured, abused, misused, totally negated, thoroughly abandoned and rejected.
The initial love we receive and respond becomes a hook, a target, and an entitlement. The original contract becomes an empty promise, a bargaining chip, an invitation to loss, and a purpose to sacrifice. The warrior within starts to revenge, retaliate, dead even, at any cost, for the sheer purpose to get the message across, to return the hurt, to give back the abuse. The abuse becomes the abuser, and oppressed becomes the oppressor. The karmic force cycles and recycles its hellish motion, its negative reinforcement, and its habitual cycle. Sin becomes further sinful, and debts amount more and more, until one recognizes that hate breeds hate, loss invites further loss; until one recognizes love promotes love, love heels love.
When there is nothing else to lose, gain begins; when there is no one left to hate, love returns. You realize all along you are doing it to yourself, and the only enemy you have is you, in you, and of you. You realize that you have spent the rest of life trying to avoid the accident, promote the fear, satisfy the rage, and glorify nothing.
When you realize that the enemy of you is doing something equally innocent, and he cannot know anything better, do anything different, and carries a force beyond him. He carries a post, a sign from God, a mirror from above, so we can see our own naked shadow. Since God loves no one better, and hates no one further, it is up to us to recognize and embrace it.
the Holy Hunger
Tao Huang 3650 Dover Center Rd Westlake, Ohio 44145 (216) 255-0866